I realized I needed to snap out of it!
Sure, I've got a laundry list of things I wish were different right now, but THIS is the list that really matters:
- Big Brother has a good job, is in a good relationship, and is healthy. He's becoming a man I'm proud of in so many ways.
- THE KIDS GOT THEIR MOMMY BACK!!! Sometimes I still stop and think where we were a year ago and have to pinch myself, it is just so AMAZING that this happened.
- All the kids are happy, healthy, feisty, super-duper smart and growing like weeds. Did I already say they're happy? Well, let me say it again because it bears repeating: THE KIDS ARE HAPPY! After watching them be supremely unhappy for two years this happy business is a pretty big deal.
- I have a bunch of kids. Wow! I never planned to be a second-time-around mom at almost fifty (and I still harbor fantasies of graffiting the CPS office under the cover of darkness), but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. It changed my life in all the right ways.
- Even better than being a temporary second-time-around mom is getting to be a permanent-stuck-with-me-for-life Aunt. Having their mommy back does mean I have to take a step back in their lives, but the good part about that is I get to enjoy all the fun parts without the boring stuff like laundry and vomit and dental appointments.
- I've got a good, solid job where I can totally be who I am without judgement. Heck, I announced today "If they deliver a unicycle next week, don't be alarmed. Its mine. I'm going to learn to ride it around these file cabinets," and nobody was all that surprised.
- The hard work I've been doing on my financial profile is slowly starting to pay off. I'll post more about that soon.
- I'm a writer. Just typing those words feels good, after a lifetime of not-quite-daring to believe I could do it. Someday in the not-too-distant future I might even get to add the word "published" to that sentence and that will feel even better.