Monday, August 5, 2013

Are you an innie or an outie?

A facebook friend posted something recently that got me thinking. She said if she doesn't get her alone time to recharge, she goes into fight mode. She went on to remark that not getting enough peace and quiet made her feel endangered to the core.

Endangered to the core. Wow, that statement resonated strongly for me.

Growing up, I was that kid who always wanted to stay indoors and read at recess, the one who dreaded loud, noisy group activities. Evan as an adult I viewed my solitary nature as a personality flaw; I often felt guilty for not enjoying group social situations.

As fate would have it, all four of my kids are extroverts who would rather stick needles in their eye than spend a quiet day at home. This fundamental difference in our natures makes for some clashes on the home front, and is not helped any by the in-your-face nature of the foster care world. I found this disparity especially challenging when Big Brother was a teen. Too often I found myself yelling "Why can't you just stay home for once?"

These days I crave solitude like some people crave chocolate. A quiet moment in my rocker on the porch, or a short walk around the block with the dog are little slices of heaven. In my favorite daydream I'm on Juno Beach, close to the aquamarine water, but out of the sun under the pier. I've got a stack of books, nowhere to go, and NO KIDS. This is my mental happy place and I'm not ashamed to say I it visit often.

The video from Susan Cain below explains what it means to be an introvert, while also dispelling some of the myths about us "innies."

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