In my last post I asked you to help me decide if I should stay here in New Jersey, or move to West Palm Beach, Florida, and I haven't posted since. I'm sure you're wondering, am I staying, or am I going?
The answer is, I still don't know.
In my favorite sorts of books a parallel universe is sometimes created when a major event could go either way, with both possibilities then playing out oblivious to one another. I feel like this has happened to me. In one universe, I chose to stay here, and life goes on pretty much as it always has. In the other, I chose Florida and am living life among the palm trees. From here where I stand, at the point where the universe split into two, I can see both lives playing out in great detail, and it is in those details where the difficulty lies.
Neither universe has "happy ending" written all over it. In both realities there is both good and bad. In New Jersey, I'm here with my family, and still have my job, but as the years pass and the cost of housing increases it becomes more of a struggle. I'm not able to help as much as I would like with Big Brother's wedding, or the Princesses quinceañeras. In Florida, the money situation is better, but it is a lonely existence; I have sunshine and blue skies, but I don't see my son or family nearly as often as I would like, and the Princesses and Baby Brother even less; As they grow up, we begin to drift apart.
Anyway, for now I've decided not to decide. I spoke to the relative who has been holding his condo for me. We agreed he can't wait indefinitely, so if he rents it, he will let me know. If things change here, and Big Brother gets a better job and his own place, I will let him know.
Who knows what the next six months might bring for all of us? By then I might feel ready to take on a new horizon in a new state. Until then, you can continue to find me right here where I've always been, Stuck in the Slow Lane.
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